January 24, 2014
Writers block is a formidable barrier to break through. I know because I have been staring at my own
block since April 11, 2011. I have
approached it many times, sometimes attacked it, but always retreated in
despair and defeat in the end. Recently,
however, I have obstinately laid siege to it, leaving myself no option but
victory, standing on the promises God made in his Word for challenges such as
this. 3 For though we walk in the
flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. 4 For the
weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy
strongholds. 5 We destroy arguments and
every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought
captive to obey Christ. ( 1 Corinthians 10:3-5) I have
reclaimed the cardboard testimony I made in 2008, that though “I was driven to
distraction, I am now focused on the prize” of the upward call of God in Christ
Jesus, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.
(Phil. 3:13-14) I have given in to my conscience that convicts
me that our Father has called me to write what he has and continues to show
me. I am now obeying the commission “You
should write this stuff down!” commanded by so many who have listened to me
share verbally. I have refused to
continue to walk the path of Jonah, stopped ignoring my commission and stopped kowtowing
to every weakness and distraction that has resulted in my silence. Today, the siege has broken through the wall.
My writers block is finally being
destroyed…obviously. God is indeed
faithful to his promises.
I praise God for his miraculous provision that has helped
make this possible, beginning with Taylor McCall. For months, he and Jeremy Gore have been
pushing me to begin writing again, praying God would heal my wings so I can
spread them and fly. Taylor was already
in communication with and being ministered to by the ministry The Tampa
Underground in Tampa, Florida. He asked
them to begin praying for me by name months ago and began encouraging me to go
spend time with them in Tampa, believing they would be able to encourage me and
guide me in our common vision just as they had already ministered to him. God led me to commit to go sometime in
October (I think) and I began praying he provide the way for it to happen as
early as January.
By November, my job as Filter Program Coordinator at U
S Steel was dissolved when the plant management decided not to renew the filter
contract with my employer, The Burch Corporation. In December, I began working from our
Birmingham office, performing filter maintenance for other clients in the central
Alabama area, conveniently providing the opportunity to get better acquainted
with our owner. From that familiarity
and the advocacy of my former manager and friend at U S Steel, my request to
work from our Tampa office was approved.
Further, God gave me favor with our owner that led him to pull my file
and discover my education and sales background, leading him to create work for
me in Tampa in the sales department.
These plans were only finalized the week before last, two weeks after I
agreed to go to Tampa with no promises of what work would be available.
Of course,
evidence of God’s faithfulness and provision still continue to manifest since
my arrival. The Burch office here in
Tampa provided me my own office with a computer, agreeing to also allow me to
use it to work on my blog so I could have internet access and a quiet place to
work. The Tampa Underground Staff have also
been wonderfully supportive and accommodating by providing me a communal place
to stay and access to their ministries and staff. Some have also expressed interest in
exploring the ideas from When Helping Hurts.
For transportation, I was able to bring with me the bicycle God provided
me months ago through the ministry Redemptive Cycles. Having used it for months in Birmingham in
the absence of a car, I’m in more than sufficient condition to handle the six
mile commute to work and the necessary travel around town. Clearly, all my
needs are being met from a combination of sources that only God could have
brought together. I never cease to be amazed by how God manifests himself and
his blessings when we approach him in faith, expecting nothing but his
faithfulness and presence, knowing his presence is all we need and his
faithfulness endures forever. Praise
him!!
I confess the battle is not over so I covet your prayers. It has taken me most of the day to write
this. I feel depleted, like when I first
started exercising again after months of idleness. Anxiety and perfectionism still plague my
mind and emotions along with homesickness and doubt. Nevertheless, I know the spiritual and
emotional struggle will lessen with perseverance, as stated in Hebrews
10:11-13:
11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather
than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those
who have been trained by it.
12 Therefore
lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, 13 and
make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of
joint but rather be healed.
Regardless of
my struggle, I know progress is being made and I am being healed. I also remain in awe of the abundance of our
Father’s mercy and grace despite my wretchedness, unworthiness, faithlessness,
despair and sinful betrayal. I am
steadfast in the knowledge that I can again bear witness honestly that the
gospel is true, that it’s not about me and my insufficient flesh,
the prodigal can return home and it is all for his glory. I am truly thankful beyond measure to be a
part of his Kingdom work and look forward to sharing this journey with you whom
he also loved enough to die that you may live.
Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and
power and might be to our God forever and ever! A-men! (Rev.
7:12)
Thank you for your love and prayers, family!
Rainman
19 For
God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20 and
through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or
things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.
21 Once
you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your
evil behavior. 22 But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s
physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish
and free from accusation— 23 if you
continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope
held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been
proclaimed to every creature under heaven.
Col. 1:19-23a
